Furthest Thing

I get depressed. I punch holes in walls. I back out of commitments. I use people. I'm inconsistent. I lose self control too easily. I lie. I manipulate. I have crazy mood swings. I succumb to lust and objectify girls. I get obsessive. I make irrational decisions on impulse. I don't let important people in my life know how thankful I am for them. I cut people out of my life and don't give any explanations. I cry sometimes because I never talk to anyone in my immediate family. I cut my mom completely out of my life years ago. I have bipolar disorder just like her. I'm terrified I'll hurt the people that mean the most to me in the same way I've been hurt. I'm scared my shortcomings as a man will damage the lives of the people around me that I love and take away from the potential I have to make the world a better place.

And I guess I also talk too candid or personal about things haha... But I'm not afraid to be vulnerable or let people know I'm imperfect. By no means is my life bad, but I have definitely grown tired of this facade people put on through social media, fake smiles, ego, lies, etc... And I get it- We're a bunch of imperfect people living in a culture that expects perfection and makes you feel like a piece of shit for anything less. It's dumb. And living a lifestyle trying to impress or please other peoples' expectations is just not conducive to facilitating self growth and the pursuit of the strongest version of yourself; it kills it. Don't be afraid of the judgment of others and society- instead, choose for yourself where you seek your value. I choose to place my value, not in my flaws, but in how much good I can make come from the bad in me. Don't be afraid of your imperfections. Stand up to the pessimism in our society by facing your flawed nature and taking away it's power by placing your value in your potential... Be authentic and the progress will come, I promise... And just think of how many people you can help once you come to grips with your own insecurities and start working towards overcoming them 😌 Oh, the places you will go and the people you will touch. I believe in you. Romans 4:5